Yesterday, the Court of Review of The Episcopal Church issued a report on the election of Charlie Holt to bishop of northeast Florida and events surrounding and contributing to the ongoing protest of his election. In true Anglican fashion, it’s highly-structured and has a got a chanting-the-psalter feel to it, with “These findings cast doubt […]
Tag: Toxicity in Churches
Open Wound
The damage was too great, the surgeon told me, to close the wound. No amount of skill, no number of stitches, could close the bloody ellipse, much less hold it indefinitely. It could be cared for and fretted over as much as I liked, but only time would heal this open wound. Healing, closure the […]
The Unmaking of Me | Part 3 Complex PTSD and the Soul
This is the third and final post in this series. In Part One, I shared the spiritual abuse to which I was subjected to for two years. In Part Two, I tried to describe some of the more acute symptoms of my Complex PTSD. In this post, I want to really drill down on one […]
The Unmaking of Me | Part 2 How to Disappear Completely
In Part One of this series, I shared the spiritual abuse I endured over the course of years. Here in Part Two, I share some of my more acute symptoms of my CPTSD engendered by this abuse. Please know, however, that trauma does not affect everyone the same way. In his groundbreaking book on trauma, […]
The Unmaking of Me | Part 1 Spiritual Abuse & My Complex PTSD
There are moments in our lives that begin ordinary and end extraordinary. Sometimes, they are moments of indescribable joy, and others of immense suffering. This post is about the latter, and takes place, like may of these life-altering moments do, under the most mundane circumstances: a food truck rally with friends. Food trucks will forever […]
Ten Warning Signs your Church Culture is Rotten
One of the common refrains we hear when a church implodes is “I just didn’t know.” Sometimes that ignorance is willed or a legal cover, but for most folks, I think it’s true. Even plugged-in participants, church-rats, and lay leaders are just unaware of what a church in trouble looks like. Here’s 10 warning signs […]
When the Pastor Wants to Die: My Story of Hurt and Healing this Mental Health Awareness Month
I have started and stopped this piece more times than I can count. The words have been hard to come by and I’ve asked myself so many times if the vulnerability is worth the risk. It is. I’m done with the silence. I’m done with the fear of judgment. I’m done with the shame. And […]
Calling or Culling? What’s Happening to Our Pastors?
Several months ago Thom Rainier reported that the majority of pastors his company works with were in the process of leaving their churches. Twenty twenty had proven a gauntlet too tricky to run for too many. As of today, I know of 4 pastors – just in my immediate orbit – currently in painful situations […]
Wounding Churches,“Wounded Resistors”
What I’ve Learned Since my Last Post Since my last post, we’ve had so many of you reach out and express your love and support for our family. Some of you have also reached out in vulnerability to share with us your own stories of “church hurt.” We are humbled and grateful for all the […]
Dear VOA – My Last Weekly Note
Friends, This is not how any of us hoped this would turn out. I am writing to you from home with emotions and memories swirling around me. I’ve heard from many of you experiencing the same. Though my employment status may indicate otherwise, this is my last weekly letter to you as your pastor. There […]
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